Project 52: #4 Note 2 Sketches

So I got my new Samsung Galaxy Note 2 this week!  And yes, the first thing that I had to play with is… you guessed it!  The S-pen!  So I made a quick doodle and here it went.

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I really love the S-pen so I download a few apps from the PlayStore and played with it some more.

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I’m really having fun with my new phone.  Although it needs some getting used to, I think I’ll get bye.

Project 52 #3: Quick Doodle

This week is just so wicked.  I just started working for a new company (which I will be blogging about shortly) and I’m already doing tons of things for them.  The only honeymoon period I got was the few hours of company orientation during my first day.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining at all.  I’m actually loving it.  After doing nothing for such a long time, I’m now doing what I do best.

Unfortunately, Prelude had to suffer.  I haven’t posting in a while, because when I get home from work, I still had to do some work stuff and I totally forgot about my blog.  Good thing I managed to sneak in one doodle for Project 52.

I did this one in my phone using my fingertips and Brushes for iPhone.  I think I’m starting to get a hang of it.  The only thing I have to figure out is how to color my stuff.

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I’ve decided I’ll be skiping on iPhone 5 and will instead get a Samsung Note 2.  The package is gonna arrive this week and I’m so excited to get my hands on the S Pen and that huge screen.  I’m also looking forward to using it for more Project 52 stuff.

Project 52: #2 Phone Paiting

So as I was trying to figure out a way how to digitise my sketches and I came across an article that lists ten drawing apps for my iPhone.  I picked out the ones that are free and made some fast doodles.

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It’s really hard to get a good iPhone app for illustrators.  There are a lot of free ones but those are for toddlers.  I wanted to layers, brushes, transforms but I don’t want to pay.  So I have to settle for probably the two best free apps: DrawCast and Brushes.

I find drawing with my fingertips weird.  Moreover, using my phone as a sketchpad is something new to me.  There is definitely a lot of work needed to be done with my strokes.  The one below is what I did with DrawCast.  What I like about this app is it support layers.  It is probably only one who offers layer manipulation for free.  On the downside, its brush customisation is not that good.  I can’t seem to get a grip on how to manipulate its brushes to achieve the line texture I want to achieve.

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Brushes for iPhone on the other hand really lives up to its name with its huge arsenal of brushes to choose from.  The downside however, is that it does not offer layers on its free version.  Compared to the ones above, you can really see the difference as far as the texture of the lines are concerned.  I wish I can combine the features of DrawCast and Brushes.  Who wouldn’t love to have massive amount of brushes to choose from and manipulate layers all in one free app?

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I hope I get to improve my phone painting skills soon.  When I get SG Note 2, you already know which feature I’m going to try first!

You Are Your Job

Today is my last day of being a professional bum.  Tomorrow, I will again be part of the corporate world, toiling for eight hours five days a week.  I am saying goodbye to a life of sweet abandon.  Where everyday is a mystery waiting to unfold.  Am I excited to leave the life of being your own boss?  Hell yeah!

One of the things that quitting my job would give me was a stress and worry free life.  Little did I expect that the opposite would come spanking butt relentlessly.  I was never good with handling uncertainty and I should have known better to not walk straight into it.  I found myself in a very dark place.  I felt so inadequate and the high regard that I once had about myself all vanished.

Insomnia was in overdrive.  I would never complete an eight hour sleep cycle.  Sometimes, I would sleep for about an hour and and would find it impossible to go back.  It felt like, since I don’t have a job, I’m practically a wasted resource, I am not entitled to have the luxury of normal productive people, sleep.  Same goes for food.  I started eating less feeling that I don’t deserve to eat.  If there is anything that I should be thankful for having gone through this phase, that would certainly be shedding off some pounds.

A good friend of mine would constantly rant about his ordeals in his job and how much he wants to call it quits.  The old me would definitely tell him to go for it.  His sanity is more important than his job.  The fact that you are feeling unsure about your career choice and that you are contemplating quitting it is enough reason to do so.  But after going through all three months of anxiety due to the same decision, I would tell him, “Sorry but guess what, you just have to suck it all in!”

Perhaps if you have millions in your bank account or if you wouldn’t have to worry about how far your meagre  savings will get you, then by all means do as you please.  Sometimes, people dont realise it but their job is all they are.  When they lose it, they also lose their sense of importance and the whole world would just follow through.  So I kept on telling him not to follow my footsteps.  It may look like I’m having a grand time but that is only what I wanted people to see.

So yes, I’m really excited to be back.  And I can’t wait until my sleeping and eating patterns get back to normal.

Photo by Herschell Hershey

Photo by Herschell Hershey

Project 52: #1 Girls

Welcome to Project 52!  A few days ago, I mentioned that I’ll be doing a weekly art project.  Much like a 365 project that you would normally see in Instagram or Facebook but it would be for my sketches and drawings.  Also, since the thought of posting something on a daily basis seem daunting, I opted to do it weekly.  Thus, Project 52 was born!

I would want to have a theme for my drawings every week but I’m not sure if I’ll remain faithful to it.  For this week though, my theme would be GIRLS!  I just love drawing girls, be it anime-like or even in using other styles.  There is just a lot of room for creativity.  I can play with the eyes, the eyebrows, lashes, lips and most of all the hair.

Big Eyes Base

Funky Girl Base

Bangs

Clearly, I have issues in making my drawings digital.  Since I don’t have a scanner, I have to painstakingly take a picture of my drawing using either my phone or my facetime camera.  I also can’t afford a good photo editing tool, I’m clueless as to how I can remove the gray portions in my drawings.  Until I get to figure out how to properly digitise my drawings, please be kind.

That’s all for this week!

Back To The Grind

Finally, after months of looking for a new job, I finally got an offer.  This is probably the best news that I got in the last three months.  The search for that elusive new job has been very depressing and humbling for me.  I have been in cahoots with companies that made me wait for several hours just for a 30 minute interview.  Some of them even had me return several times then ultimately tell me that they profiled me for a wrong opening.  I also realised that the holiday season did not help as it made scheduling for interviews a heartbreaking waiting game.

But I guess all the frustrations and the anxiety brought by the endless wait got wiped out by the good news.  It wasn’t the best offer figures-wise but if there is something that I learned this year, that is “IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY.”  Something that I learned the hard way.

I know I said I wasn’t going to make any grand declarations this year and would just go with the flow.  But let me just make one so fit for the recent turn of events.  I will never squander opportunities given to me.  This is another chance for me to rebuild my career and I will do everything to make things work.  No room for my sensitive ego, only pure hard work and dedication allowed.

I’m so excited to be back to the grind!

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Starting The Year With A Bang!

At the start of the year, I did two bold things.

First, I greeted my long time crush a Happy New Year in Facebook.  I’ve been stalking him for years but never managed to say a single word to him.  I’ve always been the silent and distant admirer.  Gosh, it’s embarrassing because I’m thirty and I’m acting like I’m sixteen!  So after all the dust have settled, I messaged him: “Hey, Happy New Year!”  That’s how far my sudden burst of courage took me.  Well he didn’t return the greeting.  I wasn’t expecting it though, he probably have a zillion admirers greeting him and mine was just not that noticeable.  Oh well!

The second one is probably a bit more juicy and risque.  Bored and all alone, my earthly desires suddenly felt the need to knock on my door.  So I opened Grindr to search for the lucky guy who will scratch the itch.  I had several prospects, the first one is a balikbayan from the UK who got my attention with his naked poses.  He lives several building away but was acting all diva so I dropped him.  Others were ok but there were just so far until a twink from the next building struck my fancy.  He suggested to do the deed at the roofdeck!  I’m pretty conservative when it comes to sex so I’d normally say no to doing it in public places but I was powerless and said yes immediately.  The rest is history.

Well, that put a smile on my face.

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My Simple New Year Wish

I’m not going to make any grand declarations of greatness or boldness for 2013.  I did that last year and 2012 kicked my sorry ass. So this year, as the year of the Water Snake beckons, I opt to just go with the flow and let the year take me for a ride.  Nothing big, nothing grand, simple is king!  This is not to say that I dont have aspirations.  I do, but just like any other year, no amount of luck could trump dedication, focus, hard work and realism.

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I really want to get back on track with my career and my finances so that would be my main focus.  Last year I think I relied heavily on my emotions, start to over think things but at the end of the day, let my huge ego get the better of me.  So this year, I’m keeping my feet on the ground and always do things that are rational.  There would definitely a lot of downsizing happening for me.  Things that I don’t need or can do without would have to go.  I hope to let go of even those small luxuries that sometimes would cost me.

My Chinese Horoscope says that I should look forward to a better year year compared the to the previous one.  Not that I’m superstitious, but sometimes it makes you feel better when you have a feeling that the universe is not conspiring against you.  So I hope it happens.

 

Project 52: A Prelude

There are days (or nights) where I get a huge burst of creativity, so I always carry with me a handy sketch book, a pencil, coloured pen and some inking tools.  I would mostly draw anime stuff but lately, I’ve been trying out faces and portraits.  I’m still struggling though but I hope I get more creative inspiration next year and do better sketches.

So here are a few of the stuff I did yesterday.  I tried to do post processing in my lappy but I realised that I dont have a good photo editor yet.  Oh well, I’ll get that soon.

Fast DoodleThis one is a real fast self portrait.  I did it in like under two minutes.  As you can see, I have problems with proportions whenever I get to do something other than anime.

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Another one of my weak points would be circles.  So I’m now practicing with spirals and hopefully my circles would no longer be ovals.

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Here is another case of proportions.  My forehead seemed so small here.  But another thing that I struggle on would be drawing ears.  As you can see here, I dropped it.

A 365 project would be hard and unrealistic for me.  But I am really looking forward to doing a 52 project instead.  So goodluck to me!

Anxiety Attack

I tried to celebrate the holidays like the rest of the world.  Despite of all the pain, anxiety and depression the Christmas spirit still manages to lift up my spirits.  But last night, I realised that it will never be the same.  No matter how I try to act normal and happy, the anxiety still manages to creep in my mind and it reminds me of the harsh truth that I’ve hit rockbottom and I am fooling myself that such celebrations could make me feel better.

This season usually makes me very excited because it’s my chance to rekindle old relationships that were stalled by distance and to put a smile on the faces of people that I care for.  Each year I would go all out, beating the holiday rush just to find that well thought out gift the each person on my list.  I would also attend all the parties I was invited to all dressed up and ready to mingle.  This year though, I have been a bit anti-social, turning down party invites left and right, making people forget about my existence.  Apart from the fact that it would just be a waste of my money, I feel that I have nothing more to offer them.  I don’t want to kill the air of happiness by telling them my sob story.

Then I suddenly want to quit Facebook, Instagram and Twitter at least until the holidays are over.  I just can’t stand seeing how happy people seem to be with their family, friends, food and present, while I’m left to sob and be miserable.  It’s not that I don’t feel happy for them, in fact I do.  But I envy them.

I just hope that future holidays will not be the same as this year.

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Holidays And Homecomings

It’s good to be back home for the holidays.  Even just for a day.

This is the second Christmas where I’m treated as a guest in my old home.  It has been over a year since I moved out of my mom’s house but it feels like forever.  The funny thing is, even if I do fortnightly visits, I still get too excited every time I visit.  Today, after a very long time, I’ll be spending the night in the place where I spent 29 years of my life.

It’s weird that every time I visit, the house seemed too different for me and I can’t get my hands around how stuff works anymore.  It’s like the place is so alien for me.  Today, I’ll be preparing Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas lunch.  While the task of cooking in someone else’s kitchen seemed daunting, everything started to come back.  And I realised I’m in the kitchen where I learned to cook.  I remembered where the pans are kept, I know where to get the pantry regulars.  I’m back home.

Since I’ll be spending the night, I get to stay in my old room.  God I missed this room.  I almost forget how it feels like to lay on my old bed.  I just love my old bed, my old room.  I love how clean and at the same messy it is.  And I look forward to seeing the rays of the sun sneak in the room through the curtain gaps just like how it used to do every morning.

I have always celebrated Christmas with my family but I guess the homecoming feel makes it more special.  I have my reasons why I still choose to live on my own despite he apparent home sickness.  I wouldn’t say everything went well with that decision.  I may have been worse off but it still made me a better man so I don’t regret it.  So for now, I think holidays and homecomings would do.

Merry Christmas everyone!

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The Year That Was (Because Tomorrow Might Be The End Of The World)

If tomorrow indeed is the end of the world, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to do a recount of the year that was this early.

Last year, I told myself that 2012 will be my year.  But I never really bothered to explain in detail why it was going to be my year.  20011 was just a fairly flat year.  Everything was just steady, it had some moments toward the end of the year but for the rest of it, its just ok.  Probably, the single, biggest, most life changing thing that I made was to move out of my mom’s house and finally live a life of independence.  So by the turn of the year, I promised myself that 2012 would be bigger and bolder.

Money was never a problem when the year started and past the middle part of it.  It even came to a point where I realised that my financial goals are almost within reach.  For the first time in several years I reached an all time high with my financial independence.  Unfortunately, my financial maturity failed to catch up as I did not know what to do with the money that I had.  Left and right, I was doing unnecessary purchases.  I failed to keep track of where my money went.  All I cared about was how to relish the fine things that I am able to afford.

While my wallet was in good shape, other things went array.

I have never seen myself this fat in ages.  Due to my apparent laziness to do physical activities (shopping not included), the pounds slowly filled me in the most unflattering of places.  I had to buy clothes that would fit my new body.  I was filling my closet at the same rate I was filling my pantry.  With the additional weight I was putting in, it became harder forme to do simple tasks.  Stairs became my worst enemy.  The distance that I used to cover when walking was reduced to half.  Last year, I used to run marathons.  But this year, a few minutes of walking put a huge strain on my feet and it fells like I’m gonna die.  I maybe exaggerating, but you get the picture right?

My new body ultimately affected myself esteem.  No matter how expensive my new clothes are, I just cant seem to work magic.  I started to feel so ugly and so unworthy of other people’s time, attention and affection.  This year I screwed up several prospects for romance just because I felt that I had nothing to offer.  I tried to convince myself that the reason why I’m still single is because I was waiting for the right one to come.  But the truth of the matter is, I feel so undeserving of someone’s love.

This year was also a year of bold decisions.

When I left my mom’s house, I felt like I was already living the life that I’ve always wanted.  A life without restraint and sweet abandon.  Now, no one would care if I sleep late, go out late or eat late.  But it’s hard to live with other people.  That is one of the biggest lesson I had to learn this year.  I certainly miss my old room and all the comfort that comes with living with your mom.  But I guess everything’s worth it.

I also made bold career decisions this year.  Decisions that I would later regret.  These decisions brought me to my lowest of lows and became the source of my anxiety and depression these past few months.

Looking back, I guess my prediction came true.  This year was indeed a big and bold year for me.  It was my year for both good and bad reasons.  It was a roller coaster ride with its amazing peaks and tummy turning, intestine tangling lows.  But at the end of it all, were experiences that would hopefully help me live a better new year.

As they say, when you are down, the only way to go is up.  2013 will be a phoenix year for me.  I will rise abou the ashes strong, fierce and beautiful.

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No Not Him!

No!!! Not him!!!  Why does it have to be him?  No Neji, you cant die!!!

I’m not really liking how this war is turning out.  First, Yamato has remained to be out in the picture while Tobi keeps him to power the Zetsus out on the field.  Second, the Kages seemed to be powerless against a revived Madara.  Moreover, it seems that Tsunade is about to use up all her chakra to heal the other Kages and might end up the way she did after the Pein attack on Konoha.  And this time she might not end up waking up.

Third, while Naruto seemed to have grown enormously strong, the combined powers of him, Killer Bee, Guy and Kakashi cant seem to even make a dent on the Madara-Tobi (Obito) team up.  Now that the whole mystery of who Tobi really is already solved, the foursome now tries to figure out how to stop him.  And when they start to make some progress, the Jubi and Madara came to spoil everything.

Then just last week, a major shocker happened as two of the elder Ino-Shika-Cho trio apparently became part of the casualties.  I like it when older ninjas get some air time and this trio happens to be my favorite.  Reading out their demise is something that I never really expected.

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And it seems that Masashi is playing the “While We’re At It” card and pulls another shocker this week.  For those who have not read the latest manga chapter (Naruto 614) I apologise for the spoiler.

The Fourth Great Ninja War has claimed another popular character.  In a horrifying twist of events, Neji used himself as a human shield to save Hinata and Naruto.  I can’t believe it!  Two shocking deaths one chapter after another.  That’s too much for my emotional heart to take.  It’ like Masashi realised that since he’s not giving Neji enough airtime anyway, he might as well kill him off and none would miss him.  But he’s wrong!  Neji is one of the more popular characters in the manga.  He’s a genius.  He’s badass! He’s cool!

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But I think he also wants the readers to realise how cruel wars can be.  Characters will die, no matter how popular they are.  It’s just that way it is.  I heard rumors that the jumps will take a break for a few weeks due to the holidays.  Well, I think this roller coaster ride can use one.  My heart needs a breather after all the heartbreaking loses it has seen.

Want to read other mangas?  You may visit my favorite manga portal here.

Is It Worth The Money? (RH Bill And Population Control)

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So the RH Bill gets an ok from both the House or Representatives and the Senate for its third and final reading.  Perhaps there is reason to celebrate.  The recent events showed that as a nation we are able to finally loosen the grip that the Roman Catholic Church had on us.  That we as a nation aspire a real separation of the church and state.  Moreover, this probably is a true first step to combat a perceived roadblock to our nation’s fight against poverty, over-population.  After all this bill is all about population control no matter how they sugar coat it.

I put a stress on the word “perceived” when I describe over population as this remains to be a grey area for me in this whole RH Bill debate.  A blogging friend, Paul Farol offered an interesting take on over population in his blog, Pinoy-Buzz.com.

Over populated or not, will the 13 billion peso (or even 14B) funding be worth it?  How much more dent will shoving of free condoms and other contraceptives put on an already declining population growth rate?  While we’re at it, how much will it contribute to poverty alleviation?   Will it stop people from the countryside from flocking key cities of the country to end up as squatters?  Just like the proponents of the bill, I dont know.

When it becomes a law, the next thing that we need to worry about is how the state intends to implement it.  Moreover, we also have to take in consideration how the Filipinos will respond to it.  The government’s Conditional Cash Transfer Program is a big waste of money as there are families who would rather opt out of the program just so they can gamble.  Heck, the government cant even stop jaywalking even after the installation of countless foot bridges all over the metro.  People would rather risk their lives for convenience sake.  Having said all that, I doubt that the RH Bill will be worth it.

Now if in the following years we’ll get a series of new taxes, I know who to blame!

Picking The Right Amazing Race Partner

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This week will see the finale of Amazing Race Philippines.  It’s a bummer that the contestants are only going to race around the country.  I was hoping that they could at least go around South East Asia but oh well.  I guess keeping the race at home makes sense.  I’m really not a fan of the local franchise.  After watching a few episodes, I felt that the challenges are quite lame and most of the racers are quite clueless.  One of the things that the US (or even the Asian) franchise continues to do successfully is to showcase the pitstop as a tourist spot for its beauty or heritage.  This is something that the local franchise failed to  take advantage of.  Racers just come and go at the pitstop that are sometimes positioned awkwardly.

But since I am a huge fan of the US and the Asian franchise, I still gave it a chance.  I am still excited how the race will end.  My personal favorite team is “The Gym Buddies” (Marc and Kat).  They are fairly strong compared to the other teams.  They managed to win the first 4 legs and 3 more legs until they reached the final 3.  But more than their racing prowess, what I like more about this team is their constant bickering.  Kat is one feisty bitch.  I cant help but feel bad for Marc every time Kat calls her out when he makes mistakes.  I admire how Marc managed to keep his cool.  My favorite moment for these two is during the Palawan leg of the race where the multi cab brought them to the wrong place and left them there.  When they saw the multi cab driver again, all hell broke loose.  The amount of name calling and tongue lashing trumps Paula Salvosa’s AMALAYER episode.  Poor driver.

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I have always wanted to be in Amazing Race.  Not only because of the prize money but also, I wanted to live the life of a back packer while testing my physical, mental and emotional limits.  My ex and I once talked about joining Amazing Race Asia.  We even came close to writing scripts for our audition video.  But we realised that joining such competition would spell the end of our relationship.  We simply cant work together.  So if we are to join the race, we should be doing it with other people.

Choosing who to partner with proved to be hard for me.  I generally work well with a team.  However, the dynamics of a two man team is would be different from a team of more than two people.  For larger groups, one would generally come out to be a leader and the others followers.  I’m perfectly to be on both sides.  But for partners, you should always be complimentary.  The pressure to work well together is greater to the point that you dont even have to talk and next steps would seem to come out naturally.

Up until now, I still don’t know who to partner with.  I have yet to find the person who shares the same intensity and passion that I have.  The one who complements my weaknesses.  And someone whos temperament does not clash with mine.  If ever I find that person, I think the 2 million prize will be ours.